Happy New Year!

Just back from sunny SW Fla, where I was lucky to stay with old friend Michael and play a house concert with pal Alan Wasserman and his lovely mix of Beethoven and Crabwhimsy--and already I'm booked at Bethany Nature center in August, place an order for more of my coloring books (they're goin' fast!) 
AND I just got a check for ROYALTIES! Now I can buy some stamps. 

B. I have pared my NY Resolutions down to 2 very important items. In view of our upcoming World War, complete with NFL commercials to support our legions of poor boys eager to confront their opposite numbers at the behest of the international Oligarchy, I’ve decided to: 

1) Cut bagel consumption in half. My DNA research has disappointingly suggested the possibility that I’m not Jewish, in that the Thompsons probably hail from the MacTavishes of Clan Campbell, who hastened to anglicize themselves after the feckin’ (cheaters) Brits blew their claymores and slingshots away with cannons; which reminds us of this very cheery note: 
a. We won’t have to see Tom Brady and the cheating Patriots anymore this year, even after they stooped to stealing signals from….the Bengals?????? 
2) Start putting the toilet paper in so it rolls DOWN from the top. My mom, rolled from the bottom up. Grandma was actually Grace Garfield of the Cape Cod clan, and Mom was DAR until my sister and I dogged her to drop out of that in the era when they didn’t admit that the first man killed in the American Revolution was Crispus Attucks, a freed black man and half Native American. 
The irony that the bullet which killed Attucks came from the gun of Hugh Montgomery, a poor boy from northern Ireland like my dad’s grandmother Mary Jane Montgomery, didn’t cause a ripple between my folks, since they didn’t have Google and didn’t know it. 
Though it’s been hard for me to put up with the roll-it-down consortium, it seems they are now the majority. So I’ll force myself: it’s the new “Rule of the Roll.” 
Another trick by the deep state and OBAMA! But what are ya to do. Roll on, good buddy, roll on!

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